Using the label "jerk" is powerful but sometimes it is helpful to speak the truth. Relationships with a jerk are different than violent relationships that have a lot of control and physical abuse at times. Relationships with betrayal are also different as they mean a person is exploited repeatedly (such as having sexual pictures taken and then being blackmailed with them). These are issues to address in counseling so that you can be physically safe and recover from any trauma emotionally.

But some people are in relationships where they are frequently hurt, ignored, and losing their minds---with a jerk. Unfortunately, a jerk can be a man or woman. All of us can be jerks once in awhile. A jerk is someone who persistently refuses to change their behavior. Jerks continually break boundaries, do not see anything from your perspective and have a dangerous lack of emotional control and balance.

Even when a relationship is having difficulties the items below usually apply. Here is what a healthy relationship mean:

• your head and heart agree most of the time about the person
• your friends like your partner or spouse
• it is safe to disagree and spend time alone
• you know, trust, and can rely on your partner

Relationship counseling can bring you insight so you recognize any patterns or needs you have about relationships. You can save time, energy and money if you act now. You can learn to eliminate the depression, anxiety and stress that a relationship with a jerk causes.

If you have been married or in committed relationships several times and been really hurt, you do have a pattern. Now you can get new information on how and what to do to start the change process. Something that is learned can be unlearned and transformed. You can have a peaceful, satisfying, caring relationship that lasts.

Barbara Masssey LMFT

Parkplace Counseling Center

541-245-9610 ext. 3

Medford Oregon