1. Make fondness, admiration, affection, respect and praise a constant part of your relationship. The ratio of 5:1 positive to negative is so important.

2. Strengthen intimacy with rituals of emotional connection---ways you always do things that show care for each other.

3. Be able to “repair” an argument. Arguing in itself does not necessarily hurt a marriage. But hurt needs to be repaired for the relationship to flourish.

4. Accept influence from each other. Stay engaged and calm in discussion. Start gently with a compliant rather than harshly. Research shows men especially need to accept influence from their wives.

Do not delay seek help for your marriage. If the above tips do not work, do not keep “trying”. If there has been a separation, get help. Most couples wait too long.