Couples Counseling: What Got You Here Won't Get You There
The book "What Got You Here Won't Get You There" by Marshall Goldsmith is a coaching book for business. It's also a great statement for the relationship help process. Past discouragement about communicating with your spouse or partner (here) can blind you to the changes they are making Now (there).
The thinking disconnection between what we believe in our minds and what we see from another person is called cognitive dissonance. And if they do see the changes, one person says, "he's/she's not sincere, and/or it won't last". When this happens in a close relationship, the other person feels unappreicated for trying and may give up.
Marshall Goldsmith, the author, prompts people to advertise that they are making a change. This is what I often do during relationship counseling in Medford "he made this change, do you see it?". Then individuals, spouses or partners continue the change and everyone moves to There.
Try it yourself. Announce your change to the person you are wanting to notice. Create a compaign, advertise your change and get to There.
Barbara Massey LMFT
ParkPlace Counseling Center
541.245.9610 extension 3
Medford, Oregon
bmasseypcc@hotmail.com
Barbara Massey
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