In Part I we looked at how music can help couples relax. The last way we'll cover is meshing your dreams. Another music example is having “our song”. Usually it means something to the two of you. It may have a relaxed feel, be upbeat with rock n'roll. Whatever it is shared. If the relationship hasn't become too negative or distant, having a shared meaning you go back to can help you continue to talk. (“Call and response” in blues music.)

When dreams conflict, they need sorting through in a couple. If you share a dream and express it to each other then it helps you grow together. Some of the dreams couples have shared with me are having a child, building a custom home, traveling/visiting vacation spots or working on a hobby together. One person told me they couldn't understand how a couple could Not dream of doing music together when one was musical. Yet if one person is satisified with listening to the other perform, this dream works too. It gets to be as unique as the couple.

If music has worked previously to build your relationship, continue to use it. If you haven’t tried any of these ideas use one or more of them. If conflict or communication in your relationship is an ongoing problem, please don’t delay in trying new things including couples counseling.

Barbara Massey LMFT

ParkPlace Counseling Center Medford Oregon

541.245.9610 extension 3

barbara@barbaramassey.com

www.barbaramassey.com

bmasseypcc@hotmail.com