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Entries in Anxiety (5)
Relationships & Anger in the Rogue Valley Oregon
The month of April is recognized as National Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Kicking, pushing, blocking a doorway or throwing items at someone is part of domestic violence and may be part of sexual assault. Domestic abuse is not only physical or sexual; it also includes emotional, economic, or psychological intimidation or manipulation and happens to 1 in 6 American women.
Couples issues often include some type of control, intimidation and/or violence. I work with many people, including men, that have had trauma as part of their lives and wish to acknowledge them and the hard work they do in their healing. (Teal ribbon from http://www.brownielocks.com/backgrounds3.html)
Here are a few ways to get information and to take a part in preventing further assaults:
- The Court Advocates in the Medford Justice Building (541.774.4986) answers questions about restraining orders and all areas of domestic violence. They also have information posted outside the door. I have found them very helpful to people I have referred.
- Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That? tells how to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will. His website has many articles and he has spoken in the Rogue Valley. I have attended his training and highly recommend it.
- Learn to "trust your instincts" for self-protection. Remorse does not mean someone will change.
Peace,
Barbara Massey
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Medford Or
245-9610 ext. 3
Barbara Massey
in Stress Management, Anxiety, Depression, Health and Couples
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Reducing Imposter Feelings in Women
Want to reduce feeling anxious? Many women I encounter feel like they are "pulling the wool" over on people when they are praised or respected. I find people can feel like a "fraud" about their achievements (at work, home, with their relationships). Women tend to feel more shame for more reasons than men do anyway. This "imposter" feeling can be hard to identify but once it is you can deal with it. When it gets dealt with, your anxiety goes down as you realize it's ok to be where you are, that people who have achieved are not perfect or even close to it.
Originally Imposter Syndrome was a description written for working people who didn't feel accomplished enough. The term was created about 1983. One of the steps to overcoming the feelings is to recognize when you feel different, and possibily disconnected, from others (which makes many women anxious).
The benefit of being in a support group is that you can learn that others feel like imposters in their situations. You can then stop blaming and shaming yourself as you share who you are. More self-acceptance through these healthy connecting relationships greatly reduces shame and imposter feelings.
Look for Novembers Mail Tribune's Joy section Holiday article coming out. Expectations are key to holiday joy and peace. Having appropriate Expectations can also greatly reduce "imposter" feelings. It also leds to less anxiety and depression.
Barbara Masssey LMFT
Parkplace Counseling Center
541-245-9610 ext. 3
Medford Oregon
Barbara Massey
in Anxiety
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Lack of Sleep Effects Individuals and Relationships
Sleep deprivation is growing as 24/7 thinking and the Internet fosters the idea sleeping means we’ll miss something. According to Psychology Today, people are staying up later and sleep disturbances occur at younger ages. Sleep needs vary by age, health and other factors in each individual. And without enough sleep, the emotional centers of the brain are over 60 percent more reactive and over reacting to negative experiences. This “hyperactive emotional response” occurs in sleep-deprived people. The executive center of the brain that normally keeps emotions under control, the prefrontal lobes, actually starts to shut down. That means couples having a conflict are more likely to over react to one another when they have sleep deprivation.
Besides our brain, our body gets out of rhythm affecting our heart, temperature, metabolism and other processes. We also get sick more often as our immunity goes down. Of course our mood is affected---insomnia is a key factor in depression.
Many people come into counseling with sleep loss. The good news is that medication is Not the only answer. Cognitive behavioral therapy for Insomnia helps with practices that encourage sleep and with relationships issues that cause/contribute to the tossing and turning at night. Anxiety often does not let a person initially fall asleep (initial insomnia) while depression (hopelessness) means you are awakened throughout the night. Relaxation, exercise and other measures are part of curing insomnia.
Sleep is not a luxury that we can optionally choose to take whenever we like. If you haven’t tried to increase your sleep, focus on some new options so that you regain vital rest. Enough sleep is a necessity.
Barbara Masssey LMFT
Parkplace Counseling Center
541-245-9610 ext. 3
Medford Oregon
Barbara Massey
in Stress Management, Families, Anxiety, Depression
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Free Talk on "Women and Anxiety" in Rogue Valley Oregon
On Tuesday, September 18, I will be talking on "Women and Anxiety" at ParkPlace Counseling Center. Anxiety, a feeling of dread, occurs significantly more often in women than men. The common causes and types of anxiety will be discussed. Anxious feelings, thoughts and behaviors can often be changed without "losing control" or using medication. Come at noon for an hour to learn the types of anxiety and what new things you can try to manage your anxiety.
Barbara Massey LMFT
ParkPlace Counseling Center
541.245.9610 extension 3
http://www.barbaramassey.com/blog
bmasseypcc@hotmail.com
Barbara Massey
in Anxiety
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Tips For Anxiety Management from Horseback Riding
Dealing with anxiety takes management. It is comparable to learning to horseback ride. Imagine you and your trainer in the middle of an arena with you on the horse (the anxiety).
1. Sit up straight to breathe well and confidently as you move and manage the horse.
2. Hear the encouragement of the trainer: "looking good, keep going, see how the horse responded to you?"
3. Enjoy your horseback riding. Let yourself learn.
Get over the belief that it "should" be easy. Encourage yourself along the way. Self-talk is often the toughest part of conquering anxiety. There is more but these attitudes are the basics.
Barbara Massey LMFT
ParkPlace Counseling Center
541.245.9610 extension 3
bmasseypcc@hotmail.com
Barbara Massey
in Anxiety
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