Frequently Asked Questions

Yes. I provide couples therapy and relationship counseling for clients throughout Rogue Valley, Oregon, including Medford, Ashland, Central Point, Talent, Phoenix, and surrounding areas. All sessions are offered online for flexibility and privacy. Do you work with individuals as well as couples? Yes. While I specialize in couples relationship therapy, I also work with individuals who want to improve their relationships, understand recurring patterns, or prepare for healthier partnerships. What issues do you help couples with? I work with couples experiencing communication breakdowns, emotional disconnection, anxiety and stress, infidelity recovery, separation and divorce, boundary challenges, trauma, and major life transitions. How does online couples therapy work? Online therapy sessions are conducted through a secure, confidential platform. This allows couples and individuals in Rogue Valley to receive high-quality relationship counseling without the need to travel. How much experience do you have with relationship therapy? I have over 30 years of experience specializing in relationship therapy, working with both couples and individuals to create meaningful, lasting change. What can we expect in the first session? The first session focuses on understanding your concerns, clarifying your goals for therapy, and discussing practical details such as scheduling and fees. This provides structure and helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.offering tools and strategies that can be applied immediately in everyday life. Is your approach judgmental or directive? My approach is non-judgmental, practical, and outcome-focused. Sessions are structured and supportive.

Using AI For Better Minds, Healthier Relationships

Can I use ChatGPT or other AI programs between sessions?

Yes! Artifical Intelligence can be a helpful tool for reflection, journaling prompts, and practicing relationship skills and a wide variety of topics such as habit tracking, gratitude, journaling, meditation, and physical activity between sessions.

Keep in mind: It’s not a substitute for therapy. Use it as a supplement to reinforce what you’re learning, and always reach out to your therapist for serious concerns or crises. If you do not have a therapist talk to a trusted friend, legal source or crises line before taking serious action/s.

Privacy concerns. Data can be used by companies without privacy and payment information to provide the service. Companies collect your data such as your email, login credentials, and payment information to provide the service. They are not FDA regulated and are not subject to HIPAA. 

This post adapted from content generated by Chatgbt, published brief content from the American Psychologial Association and this therapists training/research. 

Relationship Choices

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”

- David Augsburger 

 Attack (also called Defend or Debate) You express some of what you think or feel but not much.  Any of these examples likely makes your partner into an enemy and you keep attacking each other.

When you Attack you hit below the belt. “How come you always criticize about how I do chores? It’s never good enough for you.

Defend protects you or your actions, “If you didn’t get mad, I’d be calm and not yell back.”

In using Debate you might say, “I speak up to your parents about how they treat you. What are you are doing about speaking up to them?

 Avoid (also Stonewalling or Withdrawing) You avoid topics or talking to your partner. You hide out, escape with friends, walk on eggshells to not really discuss topic. When this keeps happening couples feel like “roommates”.

When you Avoid your partner, you don’t respond. They say, “ I feel really lousy today.” You don’t look at them; say “hmmm” or other signs that show you are listening.

In Withdraw you exit the room or say “We’ll talk about it later.” (Later never comes.) Or you stop telling the partner your feelings/thoughts.

Better Choice Speaker/Listener  is a process of going back and forth between Speaking and Listening. One person is a Speaker who is listened to without interruption. The Listener does not advise and uses empathy (but does not parrot back exactly the same words to the Speaker).

Each partner states not only his or her thoughts but also real feelings. 

 Speaker: I had a really hard day at the office and feel burnt out.

Listener: Boy are you beat.  That office is really hard to deal with, you seem exhausted.

 Very Best Choice Confiding happens in a relationship when Speaker/Listening skills are used appropriately and goes beyond to Vulnerable statements. Notice that the parts of the examples below in italics are harder to say and admit. Use something similar to these examples below. Amazing communication happens with Confiding. This choice leads to intimacy, which is terrifying in relationships but the Very Best Choice. Confiding fosters closeness.

Learn the most vulnerable feeling way to disclose your vulnerability in your relaitonship. Here are some examples.

 “I am embarrassed when you ask me to listen to you. I don’t know how”.

“When you ask me to initiate sex, I feel scared that you will criticize me.”

“Your mother is great.  It is hard to be with her though because of her good career. I compare myself to her, I don’t measure up to her accomplishments or salary.”