In Spring I go out and work in my sorry looking yard. From my desk I see weeds, dried plants, moss and fallen leaves. No matter how I try my yard is not attractive throughout the year.
My beautiful trees will start to bud and my daffodils will bloom. Yet I still need to work to create the garden I want to see. Planting and knowing were to plant are skills I have learned.
Your relationship garden skills can be learned as well. Create change in yourself and in your relationship. I want to encourage you to revise your approach. While you can’t change anyone else, I know growing yourself will make it more likely the other person will be influenced.
A key, a Key, is to have conversational time, preferably daily. This means a listening and a speaking time of each person for about fifteen minutes. Empathy, no talk about the kids and meaningful topics are needed in these conversations. These are often neglected just as a yard can be.
If you are not ready yet. find a way to develop both the time and willingness for both of you to have this conversation. Spring is in the air, put in those beautiful plants now.